Ways to Distract

1. Horseback riding
2. The wooden robot
3. Wolverine boots tag
4. Denim pouch with selvedge from Shane
5. Leffot namecard
6. Tickets to The National (!!!)
7. Souvenir camera keychain from Amanda
8. Film Festival lanyard
9. “Polaroids”
10. A calendar (The countdown to the trip in December makes time pass faster)
11. Vietnam
12. Washington DC & NYC
13. Taiwan
14. Slightly stalker-ish photos of Shane

When I get tired of pouring over a textbook, or staring at notes on the screen for so long that I start to wonder what’s the point of studying so hard, I look up at my wall and imagine myself to be somewhere else aside from my usual seat in front of a screen. Sitting on the top deck of a junk boat in Vietnam with friends, taking a stroll in Central Park, passing by the malls in Taipei, or just sitting and talking to my friends in a cafe. Or I’d look forward to what’s to come – The National (they’re coming back!!! I think I will die at the concert), the UK trip, seeing Shane and my friends again. I think that wall is the only thing that is keeping me sane.

Sleep-Deprived

I haven’t been able to get a good night’s rest for quite a while now, I keep waking up after a few hours and I can’t go back to sleep so I end up feeling zombie-ish for the rest of the day. The dreams I get sometimes make my days particularly crappy. A few days ago I dreamt that I was driving along a bridge that grew narrower and narrower until I was going to fall off and plummet into a river.

Last night, I dreamt that I was standing in my mom’s bathroom. It was pitch dark and there was someone screaming and pounding at my mom’s door. I tried to ignore the screaming but it was so desperate and blood-curdling that I went out to open the door. The person barged in, I asked him what was wrong. I sat on the floor at the corner of the bed as he told me that Shane was dead. I started to panic and the despair was welling up so much that I shook my head and screamed that it was just a dream. I opened my eyes and I was standing in the middle of a road. A car was speeding towards me and I woke up the second it was going to hit me. I couldn’t go back to sleep after that.

I feel like shit today.

Mix CD

A mix CD + CD cover + song list I sent to Shane. I was hoping to make a mix-tape but I realized that no one owns cassette players anymore. I’m not even sure if cassettes are even still being sold anymore either. I already miss having time I had during the holidays to draw and make stuff.

I can’t wait for December to come already.

Unhappy Endings

Every movie I’ve watched lately seems to be a prediction or projection of what my future is going to be. In a bad way.

It’s very depressing, and kind of eerie.

I hope it is merely because movies nowadays don’t have happy endings.